Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Mother vs. Mother

"Once a Mom, always a Mom".

I distinctly remember my Grandmother telling me this a long time ago. I'm not sure why it stuck with me all these years, but I have been thinking about it recently.

Whether you have had a baby or have been pregnant and suffered the loss of one: You are a Mother. No one can take that a way from you. It's an elite club.

I'm not typically one to form or join an elitist club, but this one is too good to pass up. And, it's worthwhile. Moms really have to stick together; this is a tough job after all. Raising children, managing a household, loving our husbands, maybe working outside the home...the list goes on and we need to support one another in this club of ours.

So, why then, do we as mothers criticize each other so much? Why do we judge? I know I've done it. I know we've all done it. It's a part of "The Club" I'd like to remove.

Here are just a few topics we argue about in public and behind closed doors (and these are just the ones I've encountered, I'm sure there will be many more!):
  • To vaccinate or not to vaccinate
  • To put our kids on a schedule or not to schedule
  • To allow our kids to sleep in bed with us or not to allow them
  • To spank or not to spank
  • To home school or to send them to public school or to Christian school
  • To let them watch TV or not watch TV (before or after a certain age...)
  • To work outside the home or not to work
  • To "x" or not to "x"---you fill in the topic
And the list goes on...and on...

But none of these issues are Salvation issues. Not one. So why do we argue?

Instead, we should focus our energy on helping our friends and fellow Mothers decide if it is a spiritual issue for them. And pray. And then pray some more.

Here's an example:
Friend A feels like God is calling her to "home school" her child for preschool. They don't really have the money to send their child to school and the mom gets her children out to bible study, play groups, classes, etc...regularly. The mom is torn about what to do because she knows her child would love the interaction with other kids.

Friend B has only one child and may not have any more. She has immersed herself in her daughter and her daughter's needs. They do everything together. But she feels like God is calling her to send her child to preschool outside the home so they can both develop other relationships. She feels like her daughter would benefit from the separation--as hard as it may be.

Who is "right"? Who is "wrong"? The answer is simple: neither one is "right" if they do not follow God's calling for them. The one who is "wrong" is the one who ignores God's will for their family. Keeping your child home or sending them to school is not the spiritual issue.

The spiritual issue is what God is calling you to do and being obedient to that calling.

We need to quit bickering and judging. And start getting to the root of the issues: What is God calling you and your family to do? Your answer may be different than mine and we can both be right.

We're all in this together.

"Once a Mom, always a Mom".

And we need to stick together.

This job is already hard enough.

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."
Proverbs 31:26 (NLT)