Monday, October 08, 2007

3 hole punch

I don't hate very many things. There are a lot of things I dislike, but not really a lot that I actually hate. Not even spinach. It's not my first choice, but I don't hate it. Some hate going to the doctor. Unpleasant, yes, but I don't hate it. Many teachers hate it when students lie to them. While I don't like it, I know we all make mistakes. Learn and go forth, I say.

Today I finally made a rash decision: I hate 3 hole punches. I mean really hate. They make me crazy. Road rage is often the cause of multi-car pile ups on the highway. You might call this hole punch rage. I have never had a quality 3 hole punch. And I mean never.

I still have the first one I ever bought. I remember buying it. It was a big day--I love office supplies. I took it home and lovingly took it out of the box. I thought "this is the beginning of a great relationship." Alas, it was not meant to be. It was over before it began. It couldn't punch through more than 2 sheets of paper at a time and the lever stuck so you had to pull the papers out forcefully--ripping the paper, rendering it useless in a 3 ring binder. It has sat on the shelf ever since. And that was like 10 years ago. This is an actual photo of my first 3 hole punch. If you look closely, you can see the dust. It got what it deserves if you ask me.

As a teacher, a 3 hole punch is a must. Students are constantly putting worksheets and handouts in notebooks and I am a 3 ring binder lover. I think I went through about 3 hole punches a year. They break, they don't punch properly, the levers break. But I digress.

I am usually a fairly level-headed person. Sometimes my temper does get the better of me and I'm working on that. I count to 10, I keep my mouth shut--I've got lots of strategies. But where were those cool-down strategies today at about 10:03am? In the trash, just like my current 3 hole punch.

I had just printed a few reports--only 3 pages long--at the most, I promise. In went the papers to that tiny slot, down when the lever and BOOM! it was like the skies ripped open and the greatest storm of the century had arrived--the papers stuck. There was much ripping, anger and not so kind thoughts directed at the 3 hole punch. The papers went in the trash--I was so mad they didn't even make it into the the recycle bin. I am so ashamed.

It is just not meant to be. 3 hole punches and I do not get along. My life will be much smoother now that the 3 hole punches and I have a new understanding--you stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours.

What do you hate?


Anonymous said...

Very clever and funny Sarah! Your mom directed the hearts to this site. I work in an office an deal with a 3 hole punch daily. I know this is a stupid question but are you emptying the "holes" out of the tray?? Would a little lubricant help??? Hope you have a better experience with your next 3 hole punch. I really loved reading your blog! mary west

VTM said...

I too was (notice I said WAS) a self proclaimed "hater of 3-hole punches" which is why I just now resorted to googling, "When 3-Hole Punches get Stuck." This was the first relevant article that appeared.

OK, Sarah-- get ready to dust off that old hole punch you have pictured, which incidentally, looks exactly like mine. I work in an office and actually brought mine from home last time I became exasperated with 3 different ones provided at work. I even wrote my last name on it so no one would take it! turned out to be just like all the others--until now.

Anonymous just saved us from a life time of 3-hole punch aggravation. She suggested a little lubricant!

I went to my purse to see if I could find anything that could pass as a lubricant. I only had some creme hair product called a leave-in Hair Perfector. Desperate, I wet an old q-tip (which I also miraculously found at the bottom of my purse)with the lotion, dabbed the holes thoroughly with the product, and voila! I have been punching non-stop for the last 25 minutes. I'm laughing as write this and so excited I decided to share the remedy to help others.

Thank you, Anonymous! Good luck to you, Sarah! And happy punching to everyone!